What have I done to deserve this??

** I will not be held responsible for any spelling/ grammatical errors… blame this dang insomnia!! **

Sleep… who would have thought it was so difficult to achieve such an easy task? Apparently I always took it for granted. I remember in high school sleeping all the time! I guess I used up all my sleep hours. Damn! Had I only known then what I know now… I may have saved some of those sleep hours for now. Hmmmmm… doubt it I was too selfish then!

Insomnia is the best torture tactic ever. Without sleep one starts to feel crazy… at least I do. It’s been weeks since I’ve slept through the night. I don’t know why people say “I slept like a baby”… I’m sleeping like a baby now and waking up every couple hours SUCKS! The last few nights I can’t even get through an hour straight… Who made up that saying? Babies don’t sleep through the night! I guess if I’m ever in a situation where I need to torture someone, I know what to do… (Now you know I need sleep! I’m thinking I’ll be in a situation where torture figures in… )

I feel frazzled, my head feels like it weighs 20 pounds and what’s with this constant fog? I mean I live close to San Francisco, but there’s no fog in this city I live in!! It’s sunny and blue skies outside… I’d really like to take advantage of this weather!!

I would also like to work and be able to sound and feel like an intelligent human being. I am human, aren’t I? Wait… maybe THAT’s what the dr. forgot to test me for!! I’ve been tested for everything else!

I’ve just been prescribed Nortriptyline on top of the other meds I’m taking. I started to take it last night. I hope it helps with the pain and helps me sleep… I’d like to know what it feels like to sleep again… ahhhhhhh…. the feeling of …. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz……..  huh, sorry I dozed for a minute! Side effect of no sleep during the night… just kinda doze off and on throughout the day… yeah right! I wish!!

Praying for sleep tonight… for me and all you beautiful fibromites out there suffering from the same crazy insomnia…

Stay cool! Thanks for reading!

Sjogren’s syndrome is an autoimmune disease. Autoimmune diseases are characterized by the abnormal production of extra antibodies in the blood that are directed against various tissues of the body. This particular autoimmune illness features inflammation in certain glands of the body. Inflammation of the glands that produce tears (lacrimal glands) leads to decreased water production for tears and eye dryness. Inflammation of the glands that produce the saliva in the mouth (salivary glands, including the parotid glands) leads to dry mouth and dry lips.

Sjogren’s syndrome with gland inflammation (resulting dry eyes and mouth, etc.) that is not associated with another connective tissue disease is referred to as primary Sjogren’s syndrome. Sjogren’s syndrome that is also associated with a connective tissue disease, such as rheumatoid arthritis, systemic lupus erythematosus, or scleroderma, is referred to as secondary Sjogren’s syndrome.

What causes Sjogren’s syndrome?

While the exact cause of Sjogren’s syndrome is not known, there is growing scientific support for genetic (inherited) factors. The illness is sometimes found in other family members. It is also found more commonly in families that have members with other autoimmune illnesses, such as systemic lupus erythematosus, autoimmune thyroid disease, juvenile diabetes, etc. About 90% of patients with Sjogren’s syndrome are female.

What are symptoms of Sjogren’s syndrome?

Symptoms of Sjogren’s syndrome can involve the glands, as above, but there are also possible affects of the illness involving other organs of the body (extraglandular manifestations).

When the tear gland (lacrimal gland) is inflamed from Sjogren’s, the resulting eye dryness can progressively lead to eye irritation, decreased tear production, “gritty” sensation, infection, and serious abrasion of the dome of the eye (cornea). Dry eyes can lead to infections of the eyes.

Inflammation of the salivary glands can lead to mouth dryness, swallowing difficulties, dental decay, gum disease, mouth sores and swelling, stones and/or infection of parotid gland inside of the cheeks. Dry lips often accompany the mouth dryness.

Other glands that can become inflamed, though less commonly, in Sjogren’s syndrome include those of the lining of the breathing passages (leading to lung infections) and vagina (sometimes noted as pain during intercourse recurrent vaginal infections).

Extraglandular (outside of the glands) problems in Sjogren’s syndrome include joint pain or inflammation (arthritis), Raynaud’s phenomenon, lung inflammation, lymph-node enlargement, kidney, nerve, and muscle disease. A rare serious complication of Sjogren’s syndrome is inflammation of the blood vessels (vasculitis), which can damage the tissues of the body that are supplied by these vessels.

A common disease that is occasionally associated with Sjogren’s syndrome is autoimmune thyroiditis (Hashimoto’s thyroiditis), which can lead to abnormal thyroid hormone levels detected by thyroid blood tests. Heartburn and difficulty swallowing can result from gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), another common condition associated with Sjogren’s syndrome. A rare disease that is uncommonly associated with Sjogren’s syndrome is primary biliary cirrhosis, an immune disease of the liver that leads to scarring of the liver tissue. A small percentage of patients with Sjogren’s syndrome develop cancer of the lymph glands (lymphoma). This usually develops only after many years with the illness. Unusual gland swelling should be reported to the physician.

How is Sjogren’s syndrome diagnosed?

The diagnosis of Sjogren’s syndrome involves detecting the features of dryness of the eyes and mouth. The dryness of the eyes can be determined in the doctor’s office by testing the eye’s ability to wet a small testing paper strip placed under the eyelid (Schirmer’s test using Schirmer tear test strips). More sophisticated eye testing can be done by an eye specialist (ophthalmologist). Salivary glands can become larger and harden or become tender. Salivary-gland inflammation can be detected by radiologic nuclear medicine salivary scans. Also, the diminished ability of the salivary glands to produce saliva can be measured with salivary flow testing. The diagnosis is strongly supported by the abnormal findings of a biopsy of salivary-gland tissue.

The glands of the lower lip are often used to obtain a biopsy sample the salivary-gland tissue in the diagnosis of Sjogren’s syndrome. The lower lip salivary-gland biopsy procedure is easily performed under local anesthesia with the surgeon making a tiny incision on the inner part of the lower lip to expose and remove a sample of the tiny salivary glands within.

Patients with Sjogren’s syndrome typically produce a myriad of extra antibodies against a variety of body tissues (autoantibodies). These can be detected through blood testing and include antinuclear antibodies (ANAs), which are present in nearly all patients. Typical antibodies that are found in most, but not all patients, are SS-A and SS-B antibodies, rheumatoid factor, thyroid antibodies, and others. Low red blood count (anemia) and abnormal blood testing for inflammation (sedimentation rate) are seen.

Justine McIntyre lost her 19-year-old son to an overdose of prescription painkillers, and now she’s lobbying lawmakers to make OxyContin illegal, according to the Reporter. McIntyre notes the Oxy-to-heroin transition, with many legitimate Oxy users graduate to Oxy abuse and then turn to cheaper heroin to fuel their addiction, the news outlet says. Just as heroin was made illegal due to its dangers, Oxy should be similarly banned, McIntyre says, according to the publication.

The march on Washington Saturday is being organized by BanOxycontin.com, which wants the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to ban the distribution of OxyContin to new patients and put a “compassionate program” in place for people currently taking the drug with the aim of full withdrawal.

Acute pain is a normal sensation triggered in the nervous system to alert you to possible injury, chronic pain is persistent. Chronic pain is experienced for weeks, months, and even years. Many chronic pain conditions affect older adults and include complaints such as migraine headaches, back pain, pain associated with many forms of cancer, arthritis pain, neurogenic pain (pain caused by injury to the nervous system), and psychogenic pain (pain caused by psychological factors).

Treatment Options

The most prevalent forms of treatment of chronic pain include balanced medications, preferably prescribed by a physician specializing in Pain Management, surgery (if applicable), psychotherapy, relaxation therapies, biofeedback, and behavior modification may also be employed to treat chronic pain.

Many people with chronic pain can be helped if they understand the causes of pain and the many steps that can be taken to mitigate the particular circumstances related to their pain. Advances in neuroscience will also lead to more and better treatments for chronic pain in the years to come.

In the medical news

• Experiments with acupuncture have shown that there are higher levels of endorphins in cerebrospinal fluid following acupuncture. Endorphins are your body’s natural pain killers.
• Studies related to the effect of stress on the experience of chronic pain are currently being conducted.
• Chemists are synthesizing new analgesics and discovering painkilling virtues in drugs not normally prescribed for pain.

If you have chronic pain, find a qualified Pain Management physician and discuss treatment options for your specific circumstances. As with most ailments, a combination of treatments usually yields more positive results. Ask your doctor about all your options, do your own research, and make informed decisions when seeking care.

If you prefer to have a professional Registered Nurse Advocate work on your behalf, MY NURSE FIRST Patient Advocates will help you find the resources you need, ensure you receive the best possible care and service, and help you with any questions about your health and wellbeing. Visit us at http://www.mynursefirst.com/solutions for more information on how we can help you and make you a protected patient in a dangerous health care environment.

For more information about chronic pain, please refer to the link below to the American Chronic Pain Association.

American Chronic Pain Association (ACPA)
P.O. Box 850
Rocklin, CA   95677-0850
ACPA@pacbell.net
http://www.theacpa.org

Be well and question your doctors.

A good corset can do wonders for a chronic and painful condition of the spine like lateral curvature

Say it’s relatively constant, something that never goes away. A person learns to live with it, to compensate for it, to work around it. It becomes part of the background. It becomes unremarkable, perhaps even imperceptible without strenuous efforts to bring it to awareness. It merges with the color of how things are. It “goes unconscious.”

I’m talking about a physical phenomenon, but it might be a metaphor for something less physical. Like an occupation that restricts a particular form of expression, that produces a cramped habitus. Like a social formation that systematically blocks access to some human potential, or some set of human potentials. Like social arrangements that weigh on some people, or that confine their movements.

(No coincidence, maybe, that using those turns of speech barely even sounds metaphorical. We make the equation between processes in bodies and processes in social relationships pretty casually. So casually that maybe we don’t really think about it.)

The problem with chronic pain is that it suppresses contrast: variation, fluctuation, difference.

Without contrast, a person might even come to consider that level of pain — well, that physical sensation — baseline, or optimum. Might never even imagine how it would be to live without it. It’s just normal.

This is a basic problem, maybe the basic problem, with implications for utopian thinking and practice: the inability to register pain as pain, the acceptance of pain as normal. That inability, that acceptance, often acquires the label “being realistic.”

Really want to just say “Fuck realism.” But — too dialectical for that. Because there are times, places, circumstances, situations, that make that a losing proposition. That make trying to do something more arduous, less dramatic — be realistic, but remember what “being realistic” means — seem like the strategy that might hold out more hope in the long run.

Have to say: “Keep awake.”

Or: “make art.”

picture from the photo booth i set up @ the church harvest party

I had a great time at the Harvest Party @ our church last night.  I was a little nervous about the whole thing since I had never set up a photo backdrop w/ lighting in public before and had only used it @ home a few times.  I have a friend @ church with the same camera and she offered to help me and i quickly took her up on it.  I couldn’t have done it without her!!!!!!!!!  What a good team we are.

The Depakote I am taking for migraines makes my hands tremble horribly.  It is REALLY bad and REALLY noticeable, but way better than a migraine!  I didn’t have room to set up a tri-pod so Emily helped finish out the night and took some of the last pictures.  I think she took this one here.

Towards the end of the evening my stomache started hurting really bad and I had to leave early because I felt like I was going to get sick.  My husband and daughter packed up the photography gear for me and I sped home.  I did get sick, but after taking some anti-nausea medicine (Zofran) and eating some crackers I felt better, and I was fine today.  So I don’t really know what happened there……………very weird!!!

Today I worked on my Beth Moore Bible Study which we only have about 2 weeks left, and then I was so tired (my body is still adjusting to Depakote) that I went and took a nap.  I got up at noon and cleaned my bedroom and then started editing harvest party photos.  Tonight Sammy had a soccer game and then we had his award party @ Pie@Trio’s.  I got a salad so I can’t say how their pizza tastes!!

Today was a headache free day so I am documenting this one for the books!

A new set of guidelines for health care professionals for the treatment of chronic pain is based on more than 1500 references and 546  randomized, controlled trials.  Based on these positive results, acupuncture is recommended for the treatment of chronic or persistent neck or back pain, trigger points, myofascial pain, or knee or him pain and osteoarthritis.  Studies suggest more than six in 10 adults over the age of 30 experience chronic pain.

Today finds me ill, with a bad cold. That means chills, aches and pains, and mucus. Lying in bed, my mind is racing despite having taken two Vicodin, seven Xanax, and smoked some pot. The pot was hard to keep into my painful, withered lungs.

I’m wearing Linda’s underwear, which is perfectly comfortable given my lack of testicles. My Obama shirt is keeping my nipples warm, which is a crucial aspect of any sick man’s recovery; warm nipples. Socks embrace my feet.

The stereo is playing Marni Nixon sings Classic Kern, as in Jerome Kern. She is singing, “The Song is You.” Annie is in the window, which is still a bit open against the cold, but the lights are off and the blinds are drawn as much as possible. I detest sunlight. I’m not sure why, but it makes me very unhappy.

Today, I wanted to write about sex a bit. But it doesn’t seem necessary. Nothing I do hasn’t been done 1,000 times before, and better, by someone else.  So I’ll make it quick.

Hilary Swank apparently got into trouble with some fans last week when she revealed that she doesn’t bother putting a top on in the morning, and that her boyfriends 6 year old son has often seen her magnificent Swank breasts.

My response to the story was a total lack of shock, followed by me imagining what she looks like naked, and then I moved on. But there was more. The comments section of this particular newspaper was full of Swank criticism! She was called, “trailer trash” and “vulgar.” It was at that point that I realized I had to say something, using my only megaphone. The Velvet of Pansies.

Linda and I once went to a nude camp, for one Saturday night. That provided two days of surreal nudity in public. We conversed with a Providence doctor, who happened to be in fine shape, about this and that. All the while pretending that vagina lips and cocks weren’t getting sunshine. Soon after, we swam and found that swimming nude is pure heaven. It’s just right. The campfire that night also felt right naked, except for the spark that sometimes flew out and threatened a vulva or a scrotum. Or anything, really.

Generally speaking, however, my clothes are on. Linda is the sole benefit of nude tomfoolery. But why are Americans so squeamish about breasts? And nudity? Let’s start with boobs.

They are not a sex object, except in the mind of the wanna be beholder. They have a function, to feed babies and put the right stuff in their bellies. Cow milk is not a good thing. Women now want the right to feed their babies out in public places, and yet some are facing resistance! This is from a culture where boobs are used to sell shows and movies and cars and everything else. You will see a breast on the BBC, but never on NBC. It’s silly.

This plays into why it is silly to over-react when your child sees you naked, or wants to play naked, or sees non-sexual nudity on television. If Hilary Swank had jumped up and acted mortified, it would have added negative currency to an aspect of the female form. It’s much better to she trust, and make it clear that it’s no big deal.

By the time most teenagers are ready to take their genital out for a walk, they’ve seen countless violent acts on television and in movies, with parental consent. They’ve seen a lot of sex, too, but not around their parents. Most of us will not wield a .357 Magnum or fight vampires, but we will wield a wet vagina or erect cock.

It’s not vulgar to talk about sex with your children, it’s vulgar not to. It’s crass to pretend that a guy getting his head shot off is “ok” but a man holding his wife and moaning while coming inside her, that’s verboten.

Personally, I keep clothes on as much as possible, outside of the nudist camp. I’ve lost 250lbs over the last 10 years, and a lot of loose skin makes me quite the unappealing nude sighting.  But when I was at that camp, walking outside naked and being seen was liberating. All the things I tried to hide, like my small dick and empty scrotum and large breasts, were just out there.  No physical secrets. Everyone was nice, too. Should go back there.

Hilary Swank is right. It’s a young child and it’s no big deal. It contributes to a healthy view of sexuality. And she does have a nice rack, too. I know because the kid Twittered, “Dad’s gf has supa supa teeeeeeeeeeeeeets! Where’s my binky?”